Saturday, February 5, 2011

The first real thing

We slept upside down in your bed,
Held wars over heat, and used each other as blankets
Knowing we could only wrap ourselves up in each other for so long
before the alarm would ring,
Before classes started, patients waiting,
social engagements rang, and rang again.
If we could have found a fort to stay in
away from the satisfaction of busy,
Would you still taste me now,
Would I still be the last thing on your tongue
when mentioning how you are
How are you?
Are you happy?
Do you know you taught me what ‘gay’ means?
My best friend apologized,
For not being there through this heartbreak
I told her this is not heartbreak
My heart is still whole,
And it is still hers,
It just needs to be given and received
in a different capacity
My capacity to love you amazes me.
And I hope we always have the tools
to manage the love we need
I hope I always know what that looks like
I hope my friendship holds your worries
as the lover in me held your hips
I hope you think of me, and it doesn’t hurt.
I hope you phone at inappropriate hours if you need to
And appropriate hours when you don’t need to.
I hope the future looks something like honest
Like there is this piece of me over there,
sometimes I make sure to polish it,
Don’t let your vulnerability rust
Don’t let trust evade us.
Maybe jumping off of mountains will show us
The thrill of having faith
Even if that faith is not in what we started with.
I want to free fall
And be ok with not landing where you do
Love is something like a commitment to yourself
to always know where you are when you are lost.
I spent my life in back alleys,
thinking them pathways to adventure,
But woke up in a dense forest-
your name in my palm
Your cheek against mine
My promise to you growing taller.
This is a tall order - And I intend to fill it.
I know that our best is all we have
I know not to apologize for what I need.
I know I want to give you what you need.
So I am glad
I am glad we know ourselves
I am glad we know eachother
I am glad you know yourself.
I am glad your kitchen table will hold my dedication
And our homes will remain this far apart,
That we spent nights dancing, and will continue to do so
That I trust you enough, to feel safe,
To be happy with this.
I don’t need to kiss you,
to wish you well.
I love you,
and I wish you well.
Be well.

3 comments:

  1. New Year is the time to unfold new horizons & realize new dreams, to rediscover the strength & faith within u, to rejoice in simple pleasures & gear up 4 a new challenges. Wishing u a truly fulfilling new year!

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