the sound of sleepless beginings

i hear pins drop and think of you
their tip seems to be hitting some perfect apex of sound
some kind of crystal clear 'just enough'
this is the stuff that keeps me awake at night
imaginary sounds and narrations provided by myself

clearly things arent as sharp at the moment
clearly the answers aren't letting me lull into certainty
but i seem to be ok with that
because on the nights i cant sleep
you stay up with me
and you can guarantee at some point
ill make forts out of these bed sheets
and tell you i need to hide,
or maybe i need a story

regardless
at least im not afraid
to ask for these things

im listening to something
...

subtle sounds of dropping,
of falling ...
or the answers between the lines
of which tale you chose to tell;
i fell into one of them
on a night that i needed escape more than ever
and dreams just wouldnt come to me

but im not sure you knew that
not sure you knew the heavy reasons
i can no longer say i sleep ten hours a night
( yes, i really did used to )

but i am sure you dont need to.
maybe its enough to tuck myself in
or on lucky nights, let him.
maybe its enough,
that she will be here
on my second night in a new home
and my first, will be alone.
the way you enter a place
and the way you leave it
are never the same,
save that.

all in all i come full circle
when i wake in the morning
i am more hopefull
than ever.
and its summer
so the sun is bright these days,
there to reasure me,
that im right.
and this stays with me all day
until late, late at night

- these questions can wait
another 20 odd hours
before revisiting me
before i try once more
to sleep